Trauma-Informed Doula
Emily Likins-Ehlers

A little confession from a postpartum doula: sometimes as I feed and comfort your baby in the quiet of the early morning, I silently...

As devastating as terminating was, my vision for my future is more clarified now.

I can't explain it. I have to hide my real feelings because I feel like I'm not "allowed" to feel them.

I practically skipped out the door. I was overjoyed to no longer be pregnant and oh so relieved.

I feel grateful for my two unborn children, for not only waking me the FUCK up, but for allowing me to live my life

I've learned that people can do their very best and it might not still be enough to meet your own emotional needs; and that that's okay.

as more time went on, the sadness of that has transformed into empathy for that young woman (me) and gratefulness that she made the choice

After the procedure was over, the doctor came back in the room and said "you're not pregnant any more" and I started crying tears of relief

I did not count how many times I was in the emergency department at the hospital due to Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

I made the choice so that I would be able to get my education without boundaries, and I have.

We talked about how pro-lifers think these decisions are easy, but they aren't.

While it felt like a difficult decision, I made the decision to have an abortion more assuredly than I expected to.

It was just so much easier and better than I expected

After the abortion and throughout the years, sharing my experience and hearing others' experiences was very supportive.

This abortion my partner took very differently, it was as though I had a miscarriage. He was very worried about me

I. Felt. It. All. This wrecked my mental state. I felt like such a failure, everything I've ever wanted and I get it taken away electively?

I also felt guilty for giving up a baby when I know so many people try for so long to get pregnant, including my sister in law.

I got the support I expected from everyone but my mom.

Initially we were excited, but it all came crashing down.

Overall, I felt relieved. I never wanted to be a mother, and I felt incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to make such a choice.

I go back and forth with validating myself and then tearing myself down.

I won’t let people make me feel bad for my choice.