As devastating as terminating was, my vision for my future is more clarified now.

I can't explain it. I have to hide my real feelings because I feel like I'm not "allowed" to feel them.

I practically skipped out the door. I was overjoyed to no longer be pregnant and oh so relieved.

I've learned that people can do their very best and it might not still be enough to meet your own emotional needs; and that that's okay.

After the procedure was over, the doctor came back in the room and said "you're not pregnant any more" and I started crying tears of relief

After the abortion and throughout the years, sharing my experience and hearing others' experiences was very supportive.

This abortion my partner took very differently, it was as though I had a miscarriage. He was very worried about me

I also felt guilty for giving up a baby when I know so many people try for so long to get pregnant, including my sister in law.

I got the support I expected from everyone but my mom.

Initially we were excited, but it all came crashing down.

Overall, I felt relieved. I never wanted to be a mother, and I felt incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to make such a choice.

I go back and forth with validating myself and then tearing myself down.